C.

Yesterday I came for the 10th time for a tantra massage. It had been a long time and I was really looking forward to it. Maybe too much, because I had unconsciously put pressure on myself to enjoy it to the fullest. I noticed that I was getting angry at myself for not getting out of my head. Fortunately, I felt safe enough to express that I couldn't get into it. And fortunately you were there for me, with all your patience and a kind of certainty that it would work out. And it did.

I slowly slid down to a deeper state of being. You took my hands and I felt so safe, so secure. I was allowed to be there. I was allowed to be who I was. Tears of gratitude started to flow. There was no more thinking. From that moment on there was only feeling and experiencing.

The Yoni massage felt wonderfully soft. I felt no rush and no pressure. The movements flowed into each other. And my body moved with the waves of pleasure that I experienced. After the external Yoni massage, the internal massage followed. Pleasure made way for deep emotions. Energy was released, tears flowed and my body moved back and forth. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I couldn't or didn't want to stop it. It felt so safe. I can't really describe what or how I felt, but it was so intense that I sometimes thought I couldn't handle it. But you built in breaks, put your hand on my heart and I got the feeling that I was getting stronger.

Without your presence I would have been completely overwhelmed. But you were there and it was good. Crazy how close sadness and pleasure can be. I went from one extreme to the other and in the end there was almost no difference between the two. It felt like a big chunk of energy that was released. At the end came the release. I was allowed to let everything go. Wow. That was so deep. A session has never gone so deep for me.

In the meantime, it's a day later and I'm still recovering. I had a hard time working. I need to come to myself. This will continue for a while. But I am sure that I have left things behind that no longer serve me. Thank you, Christophe.