I have been married for 23 years and have been divorced for 10 years.
My daughter started living alone a few months ago and although I think that is really positive, I started to think more about myself... I felt completely free again... and yet again not.
I thought the time was right to look for a new partner and registered with some dating sites.
There you fill in a questionnaire and you get a sort of analysis about yourself. I thought it was right about most things, but I was very surprised about one thing. I thought of myself that I was very independent and could safely go without a man in my life, but according to those results I was, more than the average woman, looking for a kind of emotional security.
I know you have to take those things with a pinch of salt, but I started to think about it unknowingly.
My divorce was a hard one, it took me a few years to get back on top of it, but it also gave me the opportunity to find myself and build my own world with my own friends.
During my marriage I never found emotional support. There was no sense of solidarity between me and my husband, and although I put a lot of energy and effort into it, I always felt alone in that area. For me that was a huge loss, but you learn to cope with it and somewhere I stopped investing time in it and I gave all the love to my children. He was demanding and very critical of me and the way I behaved between the sheets. He was able to make very nasty comments about it and that made me feel very insecure and completely closed. I can still feel the coldness between us.
I think I now realize how unhappy my marriage was. I was married to someone who will never be able to love.
When I read that article from one of your customers in the Libelle, I felt so many similarities with that young woman that I thought it might also be a solution for me.
Just like her, I couldn't tell my friends that either.
But then of course you still have to cross the threshold and completely expose yourself to someone you don't know and who, in my case, could be my son ...
Yet I am very happy that I did it. You have to see it as a kind of healing with a professional approach. You really know very well what you are doing, you can't do that if you don't have the right dedication for it and you certainly have that.
Everything happens very serenely and with such respect. Once you are on the mat and you feel the soft touch and the warm almond oil, you are taken into a kind of intoxication.
It's like a journey in your own emotions. It is really a very intense experience that you feel with your whole body. Still I find it difficult to give up control completely, I would like it in my head, but my body cannot exactly follow completely.
Everything can be released and touched and you don't have to do anything in return.
Just being able to think about yourself, feeling safe and enjoying the moment.
I didn't think I could ever do that again, but with this gentle approach I know it is going in the right direction. I want to be able to feel completely "woman" again, without feeling ashamed.