This text was written by Christophe. Read more about him and the possible forms of therapy on his profile.
Tantra is often associated with having multiple partners and thus not being monogamous. However, this is not a correct assumption, because monogamous relationships also occur in the world of tantra. In fact, Tantra has nothing to do with the form of relationship that 2 partners choose. But statistically, open, polyamorous and polygamous relationships are more common here than in society as a whole.
I think it would be useful first to clarify the meaning of all these terms.
Monogamy is having one steady relationship while polygamy means having multiple steady relationships. In fact, both terms should be viewed from a legal perspective, as “gamy” comes from the Greek word “gamos,” meaning marriage. So strictly speaking it's about having one or more marriages, but let's stick to steady relationships in these times.
Polyamory refers to having multiple love relationships. Such a love relationship does not have to be sexual, but it can be. Essential to this is open and honest communication between all partners involved, in which everything is done with consent. This is considered ethically correct, in contrast to cheating in monogamous relationships, which is considered immoral.
There is no specific form of relationship associated with polyamory. For example, partners can simply live together, be married, have a long-distance relationship or an open relationship.
In an open or free relationship you have one permanent partner, but you can also be sexually active with one or more other partners. Polyamory can therefore be regarded as a form of open relationship, but an open relationship is not necessarily polyamorous if it only revolves around sex with the other partner(s).
I myself notice that some of my clients, in their path to more awareness and personal growth, show an interest in polyamory and open relationships, or even already have an open relationship with their partner. It is important to deal with emerging emotions and feelings very consciously. There will certainly be, even in open relationships where the emphasis is on the sexual aspect with the other partner(s). After all, we are all made of flesh and blood, not robots! Polyamorous relationships are, of course, usually the more challenging of the two.
If both partners can express their emotions and feelings to each other through deep enough communication, a polyamorous or open relationship can work well. Loving each other so much that you allow the other person complete freedom will often even strengthen your own relationship.
What if one of the partners in a monogamous (or even open) relationship gets to know someone and develop deeper feelings for this person?
In most relationships this is simply concealed. If this escalates and there is also sexual intercourse, then in a monogamous relationship this is labeled as cheating or adultery. If this should be communicated to the partner, the latter will often feel insecure ('Maybe I'm not good enough?'), hurt ('Does he like someone else more than me now?'), jealous ('I want his/her attention back !') and possessive ('You are mine, we chose each other, didn't we?'). Behind this are all emotions of a low vibration and these keep someone in a kind of survival mode (see below). If the relationship continues after such an event, it almost always leaves traces. Not only can the act of adultery in itself continue to reverberate, lying/concealment also creates a violation of trust and this often takes (a lot of) time to be repaired.
I certainly don't mean to pass judgment on monogamous relationships. These can function perfectly if both partners are on the same wavelength and there is enough sincere and open communication. It is choosing each other anew every day and that in itself is something very admirable and beautiful.
The above situation need not be called dangerous either. Is it wrong to be attracted to someone else? If both partners can see and accept that this is something very natural and talk about it openly, then this need not escalate. The honesty and trust can even ensure that partners grow closer together.
Of course, it can also happen that one or both partners realize that it no longer makes sense to continue the relationship. People change and evolve over the years. This is also quite normal. Then try to close this chapter in beauty, cherish the wonderful moments you have experienced and who knows, you may even remain friends. The latter can be important if you have children together.
Everything is energy. Similarly, all our emotions have an energetic frequency, also called a vibrational level. This is represented visually via the Hawkins scale of consciousness (see image). The previously mentioned emotions such as jealousy are at the bottom of this scale, indicating a low energetic frequency.
Tantra massage is a form of energetic/emotional bodywork. Through the massage, your energetic frequency and vibration are raised, as it were, when you can sink deep enough into yourself and your awakened energy can move through your body. In this way you transcend your survival mode (the lowest 3 chakras) as energy can also reach the higher chakras (4 to 7). You can experience a boost of life energy days or even weeks after the massage (see possible effects). The more this life energy flows, the more aware you become, the more you become empowered and the easier you can transform emotions of a lower vibration into emotions of a higher vibration (e.g. trusting, forgiving, respectful,…). This can therefore have quite an impact on your relationship, or in general even on all your interactions with others.
For some this may all sound a bit woolly, but those who have already experienced it will undoubtedly recognize these effects.
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